Ego : Best friend and Worst enemy

Ego (अहंकार) is defined by psychoanalysis as, "the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity" and that would be a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance in layman's terms. In this article, Zionax (our lead character) learns a few facts about ego. Its the extreme self-centered nature of people which we simply call "ego".

An egoistic attitude - Two and a Half Men

Why does it exist? Esteem, Pride and Dignity go hand in hand and ultimately create the shady definition of all the three together as Ego. If you ever ask yourself what you are proud of, you will get the cause of your ego. There is nothing wrong in being proud of something. When you are proud of anything you portray your character, by deciding what matters to take pride in. It is an encoded representation of who you are. What I mean to convey is, you can be proud of many things: your inheritance (things you don't earn), your race, your color, your lineage or even of possessions you have earned which may include, your car, bike, house, etc. Things start taking wrong turn when you decide this sense of pride come in way of your logical reasoning, and/or decision making. What you are is essentially a function of what you think and what you do. When you make decisions, it is the thin connection between your thoughts and actions that determines your destiny. "Ego is like dust in the eyes. Without clearing the dust you cannot see anything clearly. So clear the ego and see the World".

Studies suggest that the ego generates powerful emotions, and the ego can make you want to harm others. It changes you and stops you from wishing the best for people. So, before you take everything seriously, understand that it’s more harmful for you than it is for others. You often encounter people who are just hard to have conversation with, because you cannot reach a consensus with them on several topics. These people are so full of pride, that they ignore to think of the many alternative ways you may be looking at the topic at hand. It is not that they are not knowledgeable of the facts; its rather their overconfident charade in their own thoughts that they always know the best, which avoids them from even looking at an alternative solution. The harsh truth of life is that no one wants to be friends with an egoistic person. An egoistic person does not like being told if they’re wrong and always tend to take feedback a little too seriously. No one wants such people in their life. Dealing with them is stressful, and no one wants added stress in their lives. When ego starts clouding your decision making skills, it not only makes your life difficult, it kills your talent. "Too much ego will kill your talent".

Learning is a never ending process, it is essential that we keep a mind open to learning at all times. However, once the wretched part of ego has damaged your decision making it will hamper your mind-set also. "Too much ego makes us stubborn. We don’t want to listen to anyone or ask for advice. It stops us from asking for help from people who might know better than us".

Believe it or not, great leaders succeed because they're willing to do every job, ask every dumb person, and most of all, accept that they cannot do everything alone. Ego sometimes stops you from taking initiatives that you would have taken ages ago just because you think it is not worth your time. If there is any task which provides positive results, no matter how minute it is, it is worth the effort. Your ego is also an indicator of your knowledge base. The more knowledgeable you are, the lesser you will let ego affect your brain, as Albert Einstein once mentioned, "More the knowledge, lesser the ego. Lesser the ego, more the knowledge".

Grammar Nazis are on the rise now; while they improve the average knowledge level of the whole group of people, they nag around at every opportunity they get. This type of behavior is not generally well accepted. "We don’t even realize that our ego makes us criticize everything. We become nags and that stops us from enjoying the little joys of life".

You miss 100 % of the shots you don't take... - The Office

Our ego prohibits us from exposing our vulnerable side because we don’t want to take the risk of facing rejection. We don’t take risks or the chance that could change our life for the better because we’re so engrossed in proving our point. Secretly, we keep waiting for others to come to us and by the time we realize, it’s too late. This way, we miss out on amazing people or even worse, alienate them.

Ego can take away so many beautiful things in your life, pushing loved ones away from us. It affects the way we live our life. It stops us from dealing with disappointments and hardships in the right way.  

Zionax, has been through a phase of life where the above mentioned points have been dealt with and it can thus be told from experience that this happens. On the other hand, it is essential that a human being loves himself. It is too difficult to live a normal life when you lose all sense of appreciation for yourself. How we lead our life, our role in the society depends on what we pose ourselves to be. The world shall see us the way we want to be seen, however deep down we know ourselves, who we really are. The level of happiness is dependent on how much you approve of this real person.

Its about self-respect and pride - Two and a Half Men

 We have seen two sides of the same coin, there are places where our ego amplifies our suffering, yet it is the same ego which gives us our very sense of well-being. Hence, this justifies the title that Ego is your best friend in times of need, where you are probably looking for acceptance and confidence, however it may stand in our path of progress making it the worst enemy.